In the End, I Just Wanna Be Me (old)

I'm always looking at other people and comparing myself with them. I compare looks, body, friends, lifestyle, etc. I always think that every person I see is better than me. In some way. Whether it's them being skinnier, having more friends, or doing more things with their life, I always find something about them that is better than me. However, when I ask myself, "Would I trade my life for theirs?" I always seem to hesitate. I never quite make a full decision, but I definately lean more towards "No". In the end, I know that my life is the life that I am supposed to have, and it is the life that God has given me. I should be grateful for what I have. I may not have 50 friends, but atleast I did have some to invite to my birthday. I may not have a whole bunch of guy friends, but atleast I have a boyfriend that makes me laugh harder than any other guy could. I may not go to parties, or go shopping, or have a busy schedule with friends, but I do enough to make me smile once in awhile. Or to give myself a good laugh for once. I could never live if I couldn't laugh. I may not be as fun as some people, but I'm not the dullest person you will ever meet. I shouldn't complain. And I most definately shouldn't feel sorry for myself. I always hope to find someone who will see how amazing I really am, but maybe no one ever will. I don't show it right away. Ever since before I could remember, I have been afraid to show myself. And because of that, my friends are limited. Which causes the things I do to be limited. Perhaps one day, I won't be afraid to show myself anymore. And maybe perhaps, I will be that person I have always dreamed to be.