Time (old)

I always look at pictures of myself and see how much I've grown, and then I realize that before I know it, I will be telling my kids how things used to be when I was their age. I don't want to grow up. I've wanted to be a kid forever. I feel like I have no control over what's happening around me and what is happening to me. It's true, that I don't have control because no one has control over time. Time will always go by, and there is no way to stop it. No matter what anybody says, I know there is no way to stop it. And there is no way to travel through it. Time is not a road, it isn't the air, it isn't an ocean, and it's not a track. Time doesn't exist. Only to us it does. But even if it were real, it isn't an object. It is more like a description. A description of how things change. But then even when I don't want things to change, right at this moment I'm waiting for things to change. And then I'll look back at this moment and wish it never did. It's almost as if change itself is playing a trick on me. When I was younger, I only waited until I was older. And now that I'm older, I'd give anything to be younger. Change never balances out because nothing stays the same. Therefore, I will never ever be satisfied. I believe that people in general can only be satisfied with something when there is a balance. Such as, the seasons. There are two seasons for when we are wanting it to be cold. Then, there are two seasons for when we want it to be hot. Or then there is work. We want to work and do something productive, which is on week days. But then, we just need time to relax and do absolutely nothing. That would be on the weekend. However, with change, it isn't so simple. When we're in the mood to be a kid again and play on a big toy, it just isn't going to happen. That part of a person's life is over. Or sometimes we'll feel like being a teen and just going to a party. Well, if you are a kid, you'll have to wait. And well, if you're an adult, that just isn't going to happen. It's terrible. But it's the way things are. I will never accept it, but I'll only continue to deal with it.